48 Things Before 49
Not a Bucket List. A Becoming List.
I’ve never been a fan of bucket lists.
Maybe it’s because they always seem to focus on doing more. More places. More accomplishments. More experiences. More things to check off before time runs out.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized I’m not interested in collecting accomplishments anymore.
I’m interested in collecting peace.
Today, I’m turning 48.
Forty-eight.
When I was younger, I imagined this age would look completely different. I thought I’d have the house. The husband. The retirement account with more zeros than anxiety. The career would be effortless. Life would have settled into something predictable.
Instead...
I’m rebuilding.
I’m dreaming again.
I’m learning how to be gentle with a woman who has spent decades believing her worth was measured by what she produced.
This year, I don’t want a bucket list.
I want a becoming list.
Not because I’m unhappy with who I am.
Because I finally love myself enough to invest in who I’m becoming.
So before I turn 49, here are forty-eight promises I’m making—not to impress anyone else—but to honor the life I’m building.
1.
Buy my first home by myself.
Not because homeownership defines success.
Because I deserve a place that finally feels like exhaling.
2.
Plant something I’ve never grown before.
There’s something beautiful about believing in a harvest you’ve never seen.
3.
Keep saying no without apologizing.
“No” is a complete sentence.
I’m finally learning that.
4.
Choose rest before burnout.
The garden taught me that even the richest soil needs seasons of stillness.
Maybe I do too.
5.
Take myself somewhere beautiful.
Not because I’m waiting for someone to travel with me.
Because I am excellent company.
6.
Continue building wealth, not just earning income.
Money is freedom.
Freedom is peace.
Peace is the luxury I’ve always been chasing.
7.
Finish more books than excuses.
8.
Drink more water.
Yes...this stays on every list, lol.
9.
Protect my joy like it’s confidential information.
Because not everyone deserves access to it.
10.
Dance in my kitchen.
Even if no music is playing.
11.
Host dinners simply because I love feeding people.
12.
Ask for help before I’m exhausted.
Strength isn’t carrying everything alone.
13.
Keep writing.
Even when only one person reads it.
Because maybe that one person needed it.
14.
Grow A Sip of Paradise Garden without sacrificing myself.
I don’t want to build another beautiful thing while abandoning the woman creating it.
15.
Celebrate every paid invoice.
Hospitality taught me passion.
Business is teaching me boundaries.
16.
Cook more from my own garden.
17.
Trust my intuition the first time.
She has been right far more often than fear.
18.
Call my friends before they have to call me.
19.
Watch more sunsets.
Emails can wait.
20.
Speak on stages that honor my value.
No more shrinking.
No more discounting.
21.
Stop explaining my boundaries.
People who respect them don’t require a presentation.
22.
Keep lifting weights.
Strong women age differently.
23.
Take more photos.
Not because I need proof I existed.
Because one day I’ll want to remember this version of me.
24.
Forgive myself for the years I survived instead of lived.
She did the best she could.
25.
Sleep.
Real sleep.
26.
Watch the sunrise from my own porch.
I’m claiming this before I even have the porch.
27.
Laugh so hard I cry.
Preferably often.
28.
Stop trying to convince people of my worth.
People who get it...
Get it.
29.
Plant flowers for absolutely no reason.
Beauty is reason enough, and I absolutely love flowers!
30.
Say yes to opportunities that scare me.
The right kind of fear usually points toward growth.
31.
Continue choosing softness.
The world has asked enough hardness from me already.
32.
Keep mentoring people.
Someone once believed in me.
Now it’s my turn.
33.
Spend less time proving.
More time becoming.
34.
Buy fresh flowers for my kitchen.
Just because.
35.
Take my health seriously.
Not out of fear.
Out of love.
36.
Create a home that smells like herbs, books, and good food.
37.
Protect my peace from unnecessary chaos.
Even if the chaos comes dressed as opportunity.
38.
Travel somewhere I’ve never been.
With curiosity instead of urgency.
39.
Trust that what’s meant for me won’t require me to abandon myself.
40.
Remember that healing isn’t linear.
Neither is gardening.
41.
Laugh at my mistakes.
Eventually, lol.
42.
Keep believing that community changes lives.
I’ve seen it happen.
43.
Never lose my sense of wonder.
44.
Celebrate small victories.
Harvests don’t appear overnight.
45.
Love people generously.
Without abandoning myself.
46.
Become the woman little Keyatta needed.
She deserves to meet her someday.
47.
Wake up grateful more often than worried.
Because gratitude changes the way we see everything.
48.
Remember this...
I am not behind.
I didn’t miss my life.
I didn’t fail because my timeline looked different.
Every heartbreak.
Every harvest.
Every “no.”
Every lesson.
Every unexpected detour.
Every person who underestimated me.
Every season spent rebuilding instead of arriving...
...brought me here.
To a woman who knows herself more deeply than she ever has.
To a woman who finally understands that success isn’t measured by applause.
It’s measured by peace.
Maybe this list won’t be finished before 49.
Maybe life will interrupt it.
Maybe I’ll rewrite parts of it.
That’s okay.
Because this isn’t really a list of things to accomplish.
It’s a love letter to the woman I’m becoming.
And for the first time in a very long time...
I can’t wait to meet her.
What would be on your becoming list? If you had one year to become more of yourself—not someone else—what promises would you make? I’d love to read them in the comments.
P.S.
Happy Birthday Keyatta
I have to keep this for me in the future, thank you.